What Defence Mechanism Keeps You From Freedom?



Defence mechanism, has something happened to you, that has

caused you to immediately deny that it actually just happened? Maybe your child got arrested...Or...You were in a very happy relationship that was all of the sudden broken off for reasons you don't want to know about.

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Maybe you have been going through a terrible divorce to which you still haven't come to terms with. Any one of these examples initiates a defence system.

How Do I Admit I Used IT!


Sometimes what happens is people find themselves defending something and they have no idea why, for example.

  • This person was extremely mean to me however I would rather take him/her back because....
  • I hate him/her but I can't live without him/her....
  • They beat me but I need him/her.


This is because you are defending yourself through them. They were a part of your life so much so, that you cannot see yourself without them. This is what we call defending self-image and it usually always comes down to this.

Generally when you are shocked by something, you believe your entire identity is on the line. Therefore, instead of welcoming the information with an open mind, the information must pass through your personal filter and only if passed, it then becomes part of you.

This continues as long as a person believes they are their thoughts and that the things around them define them. Which is not the case.

You know when you’re entering a discussion at a party and you feel that surge of energy right when somebody says something that you believe to be wrong? That means that the person speaking has "struck a chord" in your identity where you feel that you know better and so begin to tell him how wrong he/she is, nicely or not.


If you have done any of these, you have used a Defence Mechanism

  • Denial: claiming/believing that what is true to be actually false.
  • Displacement: redirecting emotions to a substitute target.
  • Intellectualization: taking an objective viewpoint.
  • Projection: attributing uncomfortable feelings to others.
  • Rationalization: creating false but credible justifications.
  • Reaction Formation: overacting in the opposite way to the fear.
  • Regression: going back to acting as a child.
  • Repression: pushing uncomfortable thoughts into the subconscious.
  • Sublimation: redirecting 'wrong' urges into socially acceptable actions.


Information outline from Here

Some of these defence mechanism can stem back to when we were children.

If your mother or father left at a young age, you have no idea how to cope with the situation......So, it’s a possibility that you repressed the situation in order to protect yourself and ever since, you have resisted people who wish to get close to you. This is a defence mechanism

Denial : Defense mechanism #1

Let's say I came home from work early. My dog/cat had been

healthy their entire life with no signs of slowing down. For some reason today, I came home and the place seemed gloomy. I walk around and turn the corner only to see that my dog/cat has passed away.

I have a choice as soon as I see this. To initiate mourning or to resist and bury it deep inside. awareness allows us to make the proper choice.

The reason this isn't ideal :

Pretending that something didn't happen because it hurts is stunting your personal growth. Depending on your belief system, you have heard that situations arise in order to help you grow. Denial is this concepts worst enemy.

First Steps to a solution :

Picture yourself in the same situation when you first discovered what happened saying, "Yes, I accept that ......has moved on. I allow myself to move on as well".

Displacement : Defense mechanism #2

This is similar to acting like you are playing a part in the game called banana phone. First it starts off at work where my boss yells at me. I then redirect my emotions towards my wife and yell at her. My wife shouts at our son, our son goes and kicks the dog. This is extremely dangerous and helps nobody.

The reason this isn't ideal :

If you experience this, you are acting like a disgruntle teenager who won't accept the fact that they have to work for a living. Making other people around them miserable simply because they cannot get control of themselves.

First Steps to a solution :

When your boss is yelling at you, accept it. Understand his point of view fully. if you really don't want to understand his problem. Then accept the fact that you are not willing to understand his point of view and decide what you can do next time to make sure that it doesn't happen again.

Intellectualization : Defence mechanism #3

Let's say you have just been diagnosed with cancer, the next question for a person who has intellectualization would be "What are my chances of survival?". This is an effort to disassociate with the current situation by hiding themselves behind facts and numbers.

The reason this isn't ideal :

Focusing on what has happened in the past through numbers is in no way accurate to what can happen in the future. Time and time again, people have been a miracle case just through shear will and determination and faced odds that were completely against them.

First Steps to a solution :

Allow yourself a moment of silence when something heavy occurs. Resist reacting right away, this will put your habitual ways in "question mode". This silence has given you control of the situation.

Projection!

Projection : Defence mechanism #4

I am very self conscious about my legs, therefore when i see

somebody with the same problem I will either try to ignore it, or i will let them know about it in a negative way. By doing this we can avoid dealing with our own issues and place them onto someone else. Putting your negative emotions, thoughts onto somebody else.

The reason this isn't ideal :

Doing this allows you to avoid your own problems and thus cannot face them. It also takes away from others value and is not a very nice thing to do. This is a very selfish remedy and most people who do it are not even aware that they are projecting because it comes so natural to them.

First Steps to a solution :

Depending on what you’re projecting, action is what is needed. Either fix whatever you feel the problem is or refuse to judge negatively. In both cases you are silencing the urge to project.

Rationalization : Defence mechanism #5

You create a logical explanation for an action that has happened that you find difficult to accept. I have just been fired from my job, it’s because my boss thinks that i am too good of an employee and feels threatened by me, so he fired me.

The reason this isn't ideal :

Power of your thoughts can be compared to a magnet, and you will therefore attract situations where your rational applies. In most cases this is not what is ideal.

First Steps to a solution :

Face what actually happened. If you do not know what actually happened either find out or drop it. Creating a reason just so the identity can feel good is a destructive force that does not help you.

Think!

Reaction formation : Defence mechanism #6

Acting opposite to what you really want. To hide the true nature of your thoughts, for fear of being figured out or hated.

A person who criticizes the rich for their greed because he wants to be rich.

This isn't ideal because :

Openly acting opposite to your thoughts will leave the person absolutely confused. They consistently put up a make believe face in order to please everybody around them, until the people all leave. The person then feels like they can be themselves. This creates resistance to everything the person is not comfortable being themselves with. A direct result of this is the human barrier where nobody feels as if they know anybody.

First steps to a solution :

Do not be scared of being yourself, because that’s all you are. This defence mechanism is a barrier to knowing yourself. Your thoughts are yours and nobody can change them if you don't want them too. Get use to saying yes to yourself. Things will change.

Regression : Defence mechanism #7

Behaving like a child in a difficult situation. A husband can't buy his TV that he wants so he starts to pout and mope around the house.

The reason this isn't ideal :

If the person has children, they are being relied on to act and behave as mature adults to show their children the light. but if they insist on behaving like children, perhaps theirs will never grow up.

First steps to a solution :

Next time an event does not go the way as planned, simply accept it as is and decide what the next action should be. Dwelling on the situation will not make it better.

Repression doesn't feel good....

Repression : Defence mechanism #8

Beliefs sink deep into your sub conscious mind. A father/mother

dies at a young age, a child puts the emotions into their sub conscious mind because they cannot deal with it.

This isn't ideal because :

The physical world is a direct reflection of your sub conscious mind, therefore if you place bad things in it. There will constantly be a state of suffering in your physical world and you might not understand where it comes from.

First steps to a solution :

If a person has already repressed something, they need to either accept it or change their paradigm so they can begin to re create their physical results.

For more information on improving your paradigm see here.

Sublimation : Defence mechanism #9

Channelling negative energy in a positive way is explained like this. If I got in a fight at work, i come home and play football.

This isn't ideal because :

This is a positive way towards channelling your energy. But, it is negative energy and if you become dependent on this energy. You will consciously create negative situations in your life so you can suceed at your activity.

First steps to a solution :

This is a balance between activity and acceptance. Doing the activity after reasoning the negative energy out of your mind will still allow you to compete but it will not cloud your intentions.

It comes down to one thing

Accepting the situation existed and that it happened, by

facing it in your mind. Accept that you are still a beautiful person regardless of what comes in and out of your life and that you are in complete control of your own emotions, direction and level of awareness.

Facing the situation that caused you to protect yourself is over, and if it’s not. Acceptance of it will dilute its power over you.

When you think of the situation you are resisting, your focus will be hard to control because you have spent so much time avoiding it, at first, it will be a shock to your system that you actually want to face it.

In time, however, facing it will become natural and you will slowly evaporate any negative feelings that you are still holding onto because of that event.

It’s time to forgive you’re self for all of the fuss that has happened over the years. You are reading this for a reason. You do agree with me.

Everything you did during your past was completely necessary to bring you to where you are today.
It's time to forgive yourself!



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