"Finding ways to relax in a hyper state is like a dog chasing their tale.
Your doing something, but no good will come of it."
How do YOU get all wound up?
Getting wound up comes down to a few emotional and organizational factors.
1) Mental confusion : This is when you have a lot of your plate, things to do, people to see, problems to solve
and anything that takes up time to think about. It could even be something you wish you had of said to that person.
2) Repressed emotions : These are emotions that you have not allowed to surface, for one reason or another. But,
just because you didnt allow them to surface that one time, does not eliminate them. in fact, it makes them stronger and trickier.
3) Organizational issues : This touches the mental aspect but with a seperate perspective. It says that the mental confusion that you have allowed is in fact due to poor organizational skills and procrastination.
4) Unfinished thoughts : These are the most popular and least spoken about. Go figure. It is so that most people begin something
then get caught up in something else and forget about what they were doing. Therefore the thought stays in your mind and adds
to the mental confusion that you are experiencing, relaxation techniques are essential.
Most of the time you dont even know these thoughts are their
they just become attached to your habitual patterns of thoughts and collectively lock you into certain actions in your daily life.
Every human being experiences these factors and the difference between someone who is relaxed and someone who isn't
is a mattter of balance. They use these relaxation techniques.
The relaxed person has found a way to manage themeselves effectively to create the balance that they are looking for and
as a result can create more focus and pay more attention to something if needed then someone who is consistently
scattered between thoughts, clutter and emotion.
How do you manage these 4 factors that cause you to get all wound up ?
The funny thing is that nobody can tell you how to find your own relaxation techniques.However,
I do believe, that it can be underlined in through a structure. It is up to you to create the action that
fills the structure.
Managing Mental Confusion :
The clutter that fills your mind is seemingly endless and almost impossible to see through. It induces a trance like state and can be notice if you are simply, bored.Once you are in this state relaxation techniques are not the first things on your mind.
The clutter in your mind are ideas, thoughts, situations, circmustances, social opinion, entertainment, could of's, negativity and have endless descriptions.
So what do we do with them ......We write them down. Grab a piece of loose leaf and get writing. Take 5-15 minutes out of your day to clear your mind.
Once you have everything written down, assign a purpose to the situation.
If it is something that takes less than 2 minutes, do it.
If it is something that requires you to have patience, simply write down "I am waiting until...for.....to happen, arive, reveal." Then write what you will do when it arrives
The main purpose of this exercise is to get it off of your head and create space for other things.
Remember that everything on your mind requires a certain amoutn of attention. Therefore, the more clutter you have, the harder it is to focus on 1 thing.
Managing Repressed emotions.
This is a very simple task but due to previous circumstances people generally try to hide their emotions HOPING that "If I hide my emotions nobody can hurt me" or "nobody can read me".
Usually the cause
of a personal reason, could be an abusive father, hard break up with a lover or some highly sensitive situation.
By repressing the emotion, you are only causing them to re-appear stronger and trickier. People who have very complex lives, or so it would seem to them are
usually the result of repressed emotions.
The SOLUTION? Let them be. An emotion is the body reactions to the thoughts in your mind. Therefore resisting the emotion is resisting something that has already happened.
If you don't like the emotions your feeling then pay more attention to your thoughts, but repressing your emotions means you are focusing on the wrong aspect.
You might do this because they are used to doing this.
When you allow the emotion to flow through you life flows more freely and joyfully. When an emotion arises just say YES...and on it goes.
In the beginning if you are just starting this, the initial yes will be difficult since the emotion will generally have a lot of energy behind it, the first step is the hardest.
It gets easier, and enjoyable.
Managing Organizational Issues :
Much like mental clutter which is the result of poor organizational and avoidance behaviour. All that is needed for management of this issue is
action assignment. This is the foundation of the relaxation techniques.
Assign an action or direction for the thought, perspective, choice to take whether it be nowhere or somewhere. All it needs is "Action assignment", the relaxation techniques.
You do this by answering to the situation by, "I will .......Or.....I Won't."
Giving it a definitive purpose. Or else it will turn into mental confusion and you will have to do it again.
Unfinished Thoughts :
A good example,
When I started creating this page it was about 7pm in the evening. I then reached this section and started it however the thoughts we
not flowing easily and I began to struggle, so I stopped and watched a movie.
Every now and then, I would think of something to write but I would push it off by saying, no no,
I already said that I would complete it in the morning. It is now 2:37 AM and I am now completing the page. I did not use my own relaxation techniques.
This is an example of unfinished thoughts. The reocurring reminder that you are not yet done. These thoughts hang around
until the action is complete or you reason that it need not be completed.Either way you are to make a definitive decision.
What i did was simply stop writing and turned on a movie. I did not end this action and begin another action. Therefor I was not fully
in tune with the movie I was watching and my focus was skewed between something I wasn't doing and something I was doing.
What should I have done ?
I should have stopped writing, exaplin to my brain what it is I was going to do and taken afew deep breathes to clear my head and then continue moving forward.
Thats all, just create a space in between actions by taking a deep breathe. That way your mind will know that you have changed priorities.
When in doubt take a few deep breathes and a moment of silence, then carry on.